For the past couple of weeks, day after day, I walk away from my time with the Lord with the same thoughts and questions crossing my mind, and with the same convictions laid on my heart. This morning I felt as if those thoughts needed to be put into words. Maybe they will resonate with the way you feel sometimes too, and I hope they do.
The word searching continually comes to mind, especially in this season of my life. I feel like we are always searching for something. If it’s not one thing, it’s another, and it never seems to have an end. This kind of discontent and unsatisfied way of living can be seen as early as in the Old Testament. People were constantly filling their lives with just about anything and everything, and I would suggest that we do the same today. Our searching may look different than Israel’s searching, but it all points back to the same heart issue… failure to recognize Jesus for who he really is. I know, and I would assume that most of you know (or have heard) too, that Jesus is the only one who can truly satisfy our hearts. He is the only one who can fill the holes in our lives. He is the only one who can provide the answers to our “searching”, because we were never intended to look in these places to begin with.
So, this is where I’m currently at. The past couple of weeks I have been faithful in remembering that Jesus is truly the only one who can satisfy me, but I have failed to let that reality change me. I may know this truth but it hasn’t yet moved me to action. I want you to think through some of these questions with me, because the Spirit has been doing a work in me, and I know he will in you too.
If we know that God’s Word is the only thing to fully satisfy us, why is it often the hardest thing for us to consistently do? Why does it take last priority after a busy day? How can we go weeks without it, and still seem to be okay?
I think, we fail to really believe, I mean, really, really believe that we need Jesus. I think too often we believe the lie that we are okay on our own, and even more than that we start to become okay with the searching too, because in reality that’s what we see everyone else doing. But, this question makes me slow down. It brings me back to the truth that I know deep down. It begins to strip away the layers of searching that I have built up over time, and I remember again that it is only Jesus who can fill me. My heart is repositioned in humility and awe (where it belongs), and I am left wanting nothing more, because the truth is nothing can compare to His love. The love of Jesus is beautiful. It brings me to tears.
If we really believe that God is our only source of life, why is it so hard for us to give up the things in our lives that He calls us to? Why do we treat His commandments like burdens, and why do we dread listening to Him?
The Lord has shifted my perspective on sacrifice. I was reading in 1 John 5, and verses 3-5 began to tug on my heart.
3 For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome. 4 For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith. 5 Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?
The love of God protects and leads us, as sons and daughters, closer to Jesus — the single thing in this life that can fully satisfy. The last thing His commandments are, is burdensome. The Lord, calling us to sacrifice, is actually a reflection of His caring heart towards us. He is patiently leading us closer and closer to Himself. In reality, it is a joy to lay down our lives for Christ. Leaving behind the things that He calls us to walk away from is really an honor rather than something to dread. What if we started looking at sacrifice this way?
After letting these two questions sink deep into my heart, I asked the Lord to… “Take it all away, until all that is left is your love. Create in me a clean heart. Renew my spirit, my pursuit, and my motives.” I believe that this request will change everything, and I hope you choose to pray this too. I know that when this is the desire of my heart, He will take away my fleshly pride that believes that I am enough for myself, because I’m not. Only he is and only will he ever be.